When you hear that large corporations do not pay their taxes due to some loophole in tax law, do you feel that it would be ok for you to cheat on your taxes too? When you are at a place where there is litter everywhere, do you still make sure that your waste is put properly in the trash can or do you throw it on the ground like everybody else? When scientists warn that the human effects on the climate can have dire consequences do you try to behave in a more environmentally friendly way, or do you think that it is no use as long as nobody else do the same? We all know the “politically correct” answers to these questions but your own personal view on questions like these might be influenced by a common psychological effect, that of implicit peer pressure.

How often have your heard : “If everybody else is cheating, why shouldn’t I do it too?”. It is common to hear a phrase similar to this in business, sports and other types of competitive environments. In such environments it is sometimes even questioned whether it is possible at all to be successful if you do not cheat like you suspect everybody else does. You can also hear it in regard to paying for certain services, like downloading illegal MP3 tracks instead of buying the music from the official sources. In both cases it stems from a kind of implicit peer pressure, where you feel like you loose out compared to everybody else if you do not use the same morally questionable methods. Such a fear of loss is a very powerful psychological motivator but in these cases it motivates you to compromise your moral principles!

There is validity in the question of whether you should cheat and cut corners like “everybody else” or (implicitly) loose out by following your moral principles. Without acknowledging this validity, it becomes much harder to feel good about doing what is morally the right thing to do. The validity lies in the obvious fact that all things considered equal it is harder to win when your competitors cheats. So if you narrowly focuses on what it takes to win and disregards everything else, the natural conclusion is that you should cheat as much as possible. I am hoping though, that the perverted nature of this conclusion tells you that there is something wrong with the premise of focusing only on what it takes to win. What you should do instead is to widen your focus to consider the consequences of cheating not only to you, but to the way you are percieved by others.

How do you want your family to percieve you? Do you want your kids to think of you as a cheater? When you are long gone do you want people to remember you as a cheater? When you look in the mirror every morning from this day forward do you want to see a cheater? I think for most people the way they are percieved by others and especially their family will matter more than winning a contest where your competitors cheats. And leaving a legacy where you are remembered for all the good things you do, is probably also worth a lot more to you than whatever advantage you can get by cheating.

When you are overly concerned whether everybody else is getting an advantage by cheating and decide to cheat as well, you are in effect letting others decide your moral standards. Naturally this is not a good thing and you can easily end up feeling trapped by circumstances and wtih a guilty conscience. Without setting your own standards it is also hard to feel like a free person. This means you should be on the watch for the situations where you are tempted to lower your standards in order not to miss out.

In another article I told you about my anti-impatience mantra : “Success comes in chunks” and for this article I have a mantra to tell yourself when you are tempted to lower your standards : “I am simply not that kind of person”. You need to focus on your individuality and that even though others might not act according to the same high moral standards as you; it does not mean you have to stoop to their level. In the same way that there probably exists certain kinds of food you do not like to eat, you should embrace the idea that there is simply moral principles that it is not in your character to break.

When you promise yourself not to give in to the temptation of lowering your standards it also becomes much easier to decide what to do in such situations. Giving in is no longer an option and you can focus your energy on doing things the way a person with your character does them, you become more effective. All in all you will be a happier and more effective person that people will like more and perhaps even see as a rolemodel of integrity and character. So who in their right mind would give that up to get a small advantage by cheating?

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