Do you feel like a free person? Do you feel that you are free to do whatever you please? Or perhaps you feel like a slave to your current situation, without possibility of parole? Is your day filled with things you just have to do, but do not really want to do. If you are at the bad end of the spectrum you have probably just lost sight of your dreams and goals. Let me explain.

Ironically philosophers through times have debated a lot about whether free will is “real” or not. On the one hand it feels like you have free will, but on the other hand science has shown how a lot of your personality can be explained by genetics and your past experiences. In his article I will just assume that free will exists.

If free will is real, then you are actually 100% free to do what you want, and unless someone else physically forces you, you should not find yourself in a situation where you feel trapped and with very limited freedom. You should always be able to just refuse what you do not want to do and instead choose something you want to do. So why do we sometimes get the feeling of being overwhelmed with things that just has to be done?

When we are born, we are born with free will and the power to exercise it. Babies tend to cry whenever they are not happy about the situation, without regard to the socially accepted norms of when to cry. Babies are also born both empty handed and full of desires. So as we grow up the desires make us want all sorts of things but since we initially are empty handed, we have to find out how to fulfil our desires. It just so happens that the fulfilment of almost any desire demands that we please somebody else.

If you want a place to live as shelter for the weather, you can either buy, rent or build a place. If you choose to buy, somebody else already owns the place and you need money to buy it. If you choose to rent the same thing applies although the amount of money needed is lower. If you choose to build, you still need a piece of land, which will be owned by somebody else. In any case you need money to fullfil your desire for a place to live. In order to get money you will need to find some way of delivering value to somebody who has money and is willing to pay you for that value. Mostly this involves getting a job of some sort. Being employed implies that you have a boss who tells you what you should do, and what not to do, at least during the working hours. So what you have just done is trade a portion of your freedom for money in order to fulfil your desire for a place to live.

The money earned from the job serves as the “middle man”. What you are really doing is not fulfilling a desire by paying for a place to live, but fulfilling a desire by trading in some of your freedom. But what happens is that after some days, months or years of working you forget the original desire that drove you to earn money and instead you start to focus on how you have to pay the bills, and have to go to work so you wont upset your boss, and have to work hard at your job so you do not get fired, and have to and have to.

This process is not only present when money is involved as the “middle man”. It is also the case with interpersonal relations. The desire to be liked by somebody else will drive people to trade some of their freedom in exchange. Marriage for example is partly a formal way of acknowledging the desire to keep a person for the rest of your life, and in exchange trading in the freedom be intimate with others.

So what can be learned from this? Well, there will always be desires – and given that you will either suffer from your unfulfilled desires, or suffer som a loss of freedom in order to fulfil them. What is really important though, is when you find yourself in a situation where you feel less than totally free, to remember what desires you are currently working to fulfil. You might discover that the desires have already been fulfilled, and you do not need to trade in your freedom any longer. If that is not the case remembering your original desires will often refuel your motivation, as you once again can see and feel the reward you will get for trading in your freedom temporarily.

Another lesson to remember is to be consciously aware of the freedom you trade in to fulfil your desires. So when you want to borrow money, accept a job, have unprotected sex or find yourself in another situation in which your desires drive you to act – do not do it unless you find that the (potential) loss of freedom is worth it. It is good to have dreams and goals but if you have to trade in all your freedom you will be unhappy even if you succeed.